“Without a sense of a true good in relationships,” she says, “we don’t know to what we consent. then types into his or her phone what he or she will agree to, and a bar code is generated.We are left with an arbitrary act of the will.” As a result, women faced with potential sexual encounters today must contend with what Franks calls “the default of the yes.” While a woman may turn down any given opportunity for sex for idiosyncratic reasons, she can no longer invoke socially supported ways to say no. The two people then hold their phones together and the app captures the bar code and makes sure that what was requested matches what was granted.s the #Me Too movement has spread from the upper echelons of Hollywood to the halls of Congress, what has most struck me is the startling disconnect between the movement’s feverish sensitivity to sexual impropriety, on the one hand, and women’s eager embrace of our nation’s sex-drenched popular culture, on the other.
Movies, television shows, and video games routinely depict women as male playthings, and women willingly buy into it.
Indeed, the world’s best-selling women’s magazine, .
Nowhere is the current confusion more evident than on American college campuses, where administrators tolerate the hook-up culture—in which young people engage in casual sex with no intention of emotional connection—as a matter of course.
“Casual sex was happening before in college,” according to Indiana University psychologist Debby Herbenick, “but there wasn’t the sense that it’s what you should be doing.
article likewise confirms that women face pressure to engage in sex even in the most fleeting of encounters. There’s an App for That”—advises women to “decide what you want in advance,” including “the type of sex” or “whether you want it to be casual or part of a continuing relationship.” Then, it suggests, If you have a date but don’t want to have sex that night, tell the person beforehand. “I am eager to go out with you tonight but have to get home early.” This will make sure everyone is on the same page. The next frontier in twenty-first-century romance: trying to find the magic moment to pop the cell phone app question.
In other words, a woman who doesn’t want to have sex must not only expect to apologize for but to defend her decision. Technology (of course) is coming to the rescue of men and women who want to get their consent on record. The #Me Too movement has revealed the treacherous nature of a central tenet of the sexual revolution—that women can enjoy casual sex with men who want their bodies but don’t care about their welfare.
A Department of Justice report, “The Sexual Victimization of College Women,” found that 49 percent of women who were raped, according to researchers’ criteria, said that what happened to them was not rape, while an additional 4.7 percent said they didn’t know. In other words, The recent case of New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman illustrates the state of near-paralysis in which the “default of the yes” has left many women.
According to another study, 42 percent of supposed rape victims reported they had sex again with their rapists. Schneiderman, who had cast himself as a champion of the #Me Too movement, resigned in May 2018 after four women accused him of sadomasochistic physical and sexual abuse.
Model and actress Emily Ratajkowski, for example, made news when she was arrested at the U. Senate Building during an anti-Kavanaugh demonstration. “Today I was arrested protesting the Supreme Court nomination of Brett Kavanaugh, a man who has been accused by multiple women of sexual assault,” she tweeted.
“Men who hurt women can no longer be placed in positions of power.” Yet Ratajkowski launched her career by dancing nude in an R&B music video, arousing the male libido that fires the “rape culture” she deplores.